I’m off to Greece. By this time tomorrow I’ll be on my way to the country where it all started. I cannot wait to enjoy all the history, all the sights and, of course, the white beaches and the Aegean Sea! I’ll come back with tons of pictures, a great tan 😀 and a body full of energy. So I’ll be out for at least 10 days, but I’ll have a lot to write about when I return.
A lesson I’ve learned in the past couple of weeks has confirmed one of my relationship-related theories. The truth is, no matter how hard you try and how much of yourself you put into it, you cannot go from friends to lovers successfully. Friendship and love are two dangerous feelings that give an unwanted chemical reaction when mixed and it’s much better to keep them separated.
I’ve tried once and failed. The friendship almost dissolved, but we managed to repair it and now we’re good friends again.
I’ve tried twice and failed miserably.
The third time, well, there was a momentary spark, but it faded away so quickly that we could not get hold of it. But I believe that it is better this way.
I’ve come to believe that I simply cannot have feelings for a person I’ve known for a long time. I need to feel challenged, I need to discover the person next to me. I need intricacy, the unknown. And I don’t have that with a friend. It’s just impossible. I strongly believe that if the spark doesn’t come up in the beginning, it will never become a flame. And where there’s no spark, there’s no relationship.
Some things are better kept silent. One word and a relationship will never be the same again. That’s why it’s advisable to wait, to ponder and then to act. Though they say that in love we should not keep our feelings a secret, it’s better to wait and see if it’s really love or just a spontaneous physical attraction. Of course, a friend knows you and is capable to offer you comfort and security, but…it’s pricey.
Relationships are hard to maintain, especially friendships with a member of the opposite sex, because, at some point, one of the two will feel attracted to his/her friend and complications will start to emerge. I guess I’ve come to a certain point in my life when I can say that I feel emotionally mature (to a certain degree) and I can make good decision. And keeping my mouth shut this time was the best one I’ve made in a while.
We lost. So what? Another reason to hate the Dutch. At least we’re better than the damn French. Their complete and utter humiliation is soothing enough for me. 😀
Dupa multe luni de in care viata mea s-a scurs intr-un ritm ametitor, printre alarme de ceas, facultate si o sesiune mai mult decat obositoare, a venit timpul sa pun pauza. Take a deep breath and exhale… Mi-am facut bagajele in cea mai mare graba si, dupa ultimul examen, am lasat in urma inca un an de facultate. Oricat mi-ar placea Bucurestiul, incepuse sa ma lase afara energie. Aceleasi stazi, aceeasi aglomeratie, zgomotul continuu, caldura, oamenii grabiti, cladirile reci, soferii neciopliti…totul ajunsese sa ma sufoce. Aveam nevoie disperata de odihna si de o schimbare de ritm.
Trenul l-am prins tot in fuga….un ultim gest care se incadra atat de bine in peisajul bucurestean. Spre surprinderea mea si a tuturor celor de langa mine, ne astepta un tren cochet, cu vagoane de clasa 1, fapt ce ne-a facut pe toti sa ne verificam biletele suspiciosi. Bine, bine, am inteles ca e Intercity, dar…parca nu arata atat de bine! O fi vreo modalitate a celor de la SNCR sa compenseze, macar psihologic, pentru deraierea de luna trecuta. Drumul spre casa a fost un lucru de care avea nevoie: zgomotul molcom al trenului, miscarea lenta, linistea din vagon, toate imi demonstrau ca s-a terminat zbuciumul. Prin fata geamului s-au perindat peisaje dintre cele mai frumoase. Acum parca le vedeam cu alti ochi, desi trecusem de zeci de ori pe langa ele. Vara le schimbase: lanuri de grau verzui, cu mustati galbene se alintau in bataia vantului, lanuri de porumb de un verde proaspat se intindeau peste pamantul proaspat plouat, negru, reavan, mustind a viata, fasii de rapita ce straluceau galbene si mandre. Ici colo, cate un palc de cimbrisor si flori de camp intregeau culorile verii. Iar cerul…cerul e intotdeauna cel mai frumos intre Bucuresti si Focsani. Cel mai frumos si pur albastru din cate exista, cu norisori albi pudrati cu lila, si o distanta imensa intre pamant si ei. Scapand de orasul fara stele noaptea, in comparatie cu care toate incep sa para mici, deschiderea campului era o perspectiva ce-mi dadea un imens sentiment de libertate. Si atunci mi-am adus aminte ca inainte eram mult mai legata de natura. Si as vrea sa ma regasesc, mergand desculta, stand in iarba, sorbind roua si invelindu-ma cu umbra copacilor. Mi-e dor de lucruri simple si de liniste. De oameni molcomi si de voci cunoscute.
Orasul ma astepta linsitit si cochet. Parca niciodata nu mi-a fost dor in felul asta de el. Ajunsesem sa-l desconsider, insa mi-am dat seama ca mai are multe sa-mi ofere. Casa m-a intampinat cu caldura si parca-mi vine greu sa cred ca nu trebuie sa mai plec nicaieri. Dupa cel mai linistit somn pe care l-am avut de multa vreme incoace, m-am trezit vesela. Si astazi n-am nimic de facut? Asta e o schimbare monumentala! 😀 Afara plouase cald si tocmai ce iesea soarele. In bucatarie miroasea a caise si a cirese, iar florile de pe pervaz priveau curioase catre pisica din parcare, cu pete de toate culorile.
Life has just slowed down….and it feels incredible!
After reading hundreds of pages I’m still not tired. It’s actually incredible how so much stress has not warn me out until now. Au contraire, so much energy has built up inside of me that I’m about to go kaboom! :)) In 48 hours I’ll be officially on holiday!!! I’m already thinking about the warm summer days of doing nothing, hanging out with friends, dancing in the evening and maybe some summer romance…;)) An entire summer of relaxation (I know to well just how much I needed this): a dream come true! I can barely wait to start packing and go home, where everything in quiet and friends are there to share smiles and have fun with. These past days, spent almost in isolation (no time to do anything else), have me craving with seeing my friends and going out. Just a bit more…the result will be more than awarding!
There are people who I just connect with. Even miles apart, there is that something that brings us together. The comfort of knowing that I’m in someone’s thoughts is so pleasing that I wake-up every morning with a smile on my face. And all the fatigue slips away. I just love mornings. Those warm summer mornings, that just make me feel alive. I wake up with the sound of music in my ears and I know that it’s going to be a wonderful week!:D